I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
