I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
