god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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