Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
