Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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