it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
