And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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