Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
