so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
