This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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