My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
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