When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
