How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
it was like having sex with a tree stump
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
