so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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