We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
