She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
