the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
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Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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