Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
