Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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