So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
