feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
