hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
