I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
