Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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