i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
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That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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