hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My liver is preforming stress tests.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
