"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
kristin has been a bad kristin
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
