"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
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I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
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you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
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