that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
tell me about the fingering
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