i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
only you would photoshop your dick
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
