I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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