Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
