Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
