i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
