we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
