His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
