:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize