The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
where are you?
Hypothermia
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
