every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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