anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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