Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
