The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
