Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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