i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
