i'm signing you up for texting rehab
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
