Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
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Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I didn't notice because vodka
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Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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