i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
