i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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