well I can't set my house on fire every night
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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