A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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