This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
