so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
