Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
