Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
