I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
