Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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