Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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