i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
