i don't plan on having that self control this summer
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
