oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Green mimosas i think yes
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
