My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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