What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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