My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
