That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
