Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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