you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
