we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
