fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Plan B is the new Plan A
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
