you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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