so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
