It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
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The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
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i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?