Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(508): View more from Massachusetts

your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(508): your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds http://tfl.nu/5eyd

Replies (11) Good night (4923) Bad night (979)
Favorite
(716): View more from New York

After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(716): After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant http://tfl.nu/56nj

Replies (14) Good night (4689) Bad night (729)
Favorite
(980): View more from North Carolina

I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.

(704): View more from North Carolina

oh, you finally did the dishes then?

(980): View more from North Carolina

No, bought new ones.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(980): I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight. (704): oh, you finally did the dishes then? (980): No, bought new ones. http://tfl.nu/21up

Replies (48) Good night (7806) Bad night (1456)
Favorite
(301): View more from Maryland

He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"

(1-301): View more from Maryland

Soulmates.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(301): He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?" (1-301): Soulmates. http://tfl.nu/8tiz

Replies (28) Good night (4453) Bad night (1402)
Favorite
(443): View more from Maryland

Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(443): Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway http://tfl.nu/al82

Replies (15) Good night (3787) Bad night (1014)
Favorite
(313): View more from Michigan

At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(313): At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely? http://tfl.nu/gf43

Replies (4) Good night (2190) Bad night (1364)
Favorite
(915): View more from Texas

In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(915): In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth http://tfl.nu/jkpl

Replies (5) Good night (1887) Bad night (709)
Favorite
(201): View more from New Jersey

I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(201): I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this? http://tfl.nu/60aa

Replies (6) Good night (1229) Bad night (729)
Favorite
(260): View more from Indiana

the scent of your tears make me crave pizza

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(260): the scent of your tears make me crave pizza http://tfl.nu/lvf8

Replies (7) Good night (1139) Bad night (905)
Favorite
(304): View more from West Virginia

The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(304): The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them http://tfl.nu/pyf8

Replies (10) Good night (621) Bad night (1202)
Favorite
(+49): View more from Germany

Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+49): Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant. http://tfl.nu/6o3i

Replies (7) Good night (671) Bad night (1277)
Favorite
(405): View more from Oklahoma

There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(405): There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation. http://tfl.nu/8ogi

Replies (9) Good night (1125) Bad night (760)
Favorite
(702): View more from Nevada

there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(702): there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya... http://tfl.nu/edke

Replies (6) Good night (687) Bad night (1133)
Favorite
(815): View more from Illinois

yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are

(815): View more from Illinois

Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(815): yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are (815): Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa http://tfl.nu/l4r8

Replies (2) Good night (811) Bad night (403)
Favorite
(438): View more from Quebec

I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.

(1-438): View more from Quebec

God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.

(438): View more from Quebec

Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(438): I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents. (1-438): God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol. (438): Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss http://tfl.nu/li35

Replies (2) Good night (945) Bad night (443)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard