You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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