how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
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Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
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I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.