1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.