idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.