I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
True strength comes from lack of pants